The other day I was sitting in a girlfriend’s living room with three other women. We were chatting about our relationships; our ex husbands and the relationships we were currently in. It was at that moment that something occurred to me. It is so easy at times for us to get stuck in our relationships while often enabling our partners in their current situations. As you are probably (somewhat painfully?) aware, women are emotional creatures by nature. We tend to be empathetic, feeling the pain of another, and we want to rush to nurture, comfort and fix the problem for them. Or get caught up in the excitement of the adventure that they may offer. However, we may not be aware that we are taking on the responsibility of other’s issues. Is that fair to us or to them? No it is not. It is not fair to us as it usually takes us down with them. It is not fair to them as it normally enables them to continue with those destructive behaviours and can cause more issues down the road that we will not want to be a part of. One thing that became very apparent during this wonderful morning of comfort and support: we need people who can offer support in many forms for us. We need this so we can recognize, learn and grow from where we are to where we want to be.There are four basic types of support that we need to move forward with: The Thinker, The Doer, The Communicator and The Listener. Generally, I find that each type of support comes from different people.The Thinker is someone who will take the time to ponder the situation and ask you thought-provoking questions to make you look at the issue from every possible angle. They will help you analyze an issue, brainstorm ideas, and shed the light on parts of the issue you may never even thought were there.The Doer is the one who can put things into Action. This person is your list and direction person, the one who can say, “okay let us do this, this and this; or let’s try a couple of things here.” The Doer provides you with your chunked down version of a goal you wish to obtain. They will take you step by step through getting to where you want to be with your idea and support you with various resources they are attuned to.You then have one in your circle of friends who is The Communicator. This person is brutally honest and can give you the kick in the butt you may need. This person comes at you bluntly and speaks straight forward as to how things really are...no sugar coating at all! They love you with all their heart and they know what is good for you and what is not. They are the people who don’t put up with any guff and can call it like it is. They are important people in your circle as they are the people who provide that pillar of strength when you don’t necessarily have any yourself. Your final one is one who is The Listener and allows you to spew like a volcano when needed. They just sit there and listen to all things, whether they are good, bad or ugly. They do not judge you but offer strong arms for hugging and patience to just let you do what you need to do.It has been my observation and experience that without these four types of people in one’s world, we stay stuck in our behaviours and do not move beyond our comfort zones. When choosing your circle of friends, consider having these supportive and loving people amongst them and challenge your world to stretch.Lynnette VetschDirectorAmaxa Coaching and Training Serviceswww.amaxa.org
Lynnette Vetsch Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you were on the RIGHT path? Do you think about having that INCREDIBLE relationship? Well Amaxa Coaching and Training Services is here to help you put the WOW back into your world! Full Profile & Contact Information...
