This is one topic about which countless articles have been written. That much is sure. Another sure thing is that, in spite of the considerable and ongoing attention to finding a way to do them, effective goal setting and reliable goal getting seems to elude most people. And yes, it is a two part process. Setting goals is not the end of it. Think New Year resolutions.
I once volunteered at a Health Fair. Attendees collected readings of their blood pressure, cholesterol levels etcetera. With that current data they set their health goals, if any. This was where I was helping.
People often set goals using someone else’s formula, something they read in a book or got from the internet, and wonder (or not) why after a few weeks they have fallen off the wagon.
On the inside of the participant’s folder were three boxes. The first box was to write in the goal which might be something about a change in their weight or blood sugar or…. The middle box was for the reason they were seeking that particular goal. The last box was for action steps they were committing to in order to achieve the goal. All good. Thing is that most people leap immediately, or very quickly, to that last box. What I found way more effective was to play, extensively, in the middle box.
One lady wanted to lose some weight. She kept her overcoat around her to hide her waist. Her initial approach was to, with what seemed like a heavy heart and some deep sighing, start listing exercises of various kinds. She radiated a kind of dread that this was not going to be fun and almost a premonition of failure was on her face. I brought her back to the middle box.
We talked about what it was like to see herself at the goal weight/size that she said she desired. Note that we didn’t talk about what it would be like, it was about what it was like, right in the moment we were talking, to see herself as already successful. We talked about what she was going to be able to do, where she was going to go and what she would be wearing. Bingo. When asked about clothing, once we got into this seeing herself place, I saw an impish and beautiful smile just starting and laughed out loud, clapped my hands and said ‘yippee we are there’. She started to blush and the smile got bigger and even kind of got away from her. She couldn’t stop now.
It seemed that a particular pair of jeans and a simple tee shirt did it. I had asked her to see herself wearing those and to walk around herself to see exactly what she looked like from all sides. Her 10,000 watt smile lit the place up. Then, only then, I asked “and what does your body, the one wearing those jeans and that tee shirt, tell you will get you there?” She easily and confidently I might add, selected a combination of walking to and from her work plus riding bicycle with her two children. The picture told her the ideal amount of time for the riding and how many days per week to walk. She was no longer focused on pounds, it was the jeans and she looked unstoppable.
The point here is to understand the impact of that incentive picture. It had juicy feelings, that she gave it, and that were undeniable for her. It moved her from dread to unstoppable. What to do and how much came up from within her and was tested by the already successful person in the picture. I expect that she will indeed get there, with the support of that picture and that awesome smile.
For one person the feelings rich picture was of riding bicycles with grandchildren five years hence. For another it was a reframe from running 3 kilometers a day (boring) into “I run two marathons every month”. Now that was compelling.
When setting goals go for the juicy, feelings rich picture. That juicy picture is the fuel for goal getting.
Enjoy. ☺
Joseph Seiler CPCC PCC jseiler@yournaturaledge.com
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Joseph Seiler Joseph inspires people. Folks catch his enthusiasm, love his zest for life and grow from his Acceptance and encouragement. He has experienced many an adventure, including buying and selling companies, running his first a marathon at age 47 and authoring a book. Full Profile & Contact Information...
Bob Benwick, MSc. OD, MCC, PCC, CPCC
A LEADING GLOBAL ORGANIZATIONAL COACHING FIRM DEDICATED TO PARTNERING WITH CLIENTS TO SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVE STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE!
Pearl’s clients become better leaders, and better people. They are better at having the real conversations that create results. They are better at moving their organization towards the changes they believe in. They are working more collaboratively and learning to thrive in teams and partnerships.
Brett McBurnie comes to coaching from a diverse and unique background. Born in Toronto in 1951, he attended school in East York and eventually went on to study Classical Studies (Greek and Latin); at the University of Toronto , with the purpose in mind of pursuing a general but well rounded education.
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